"...He was astonished"

Before you read my blog, read Matthew 8. Do it.

Read it?

Okay.

I read Matthew 8 today. It's pretty much packed full of short and interesting and exciting bits and pieces of the life of Jesus. He healed a man with leprosy (which is why I chose this picture to your left), healed another man from miles away, healed the sick, the demon-possessed, calms a storm... Makes me wonder if this was in the span of a day or two. If so, I can't even imagine what the people around him were thinking. I, myself, would probably think he was a freak, be scared to death of him, I'd probably join in the gossip about Him. I know how sinful I am and I probably would have been one of the doubters. I wish I could be like the guy from verses 5-13. The Centurion. He had so much faith that he actually "astonished" Jesus! He surprised the One. How cool is that? I wish my faith surprised Jesus (in a good way). I feel like the only time I could astonish Jesus is when my LACK of faith is so great he's like "What the heck, Erin? Didn't I rescue you? Have a little more faith in me!"

What if we always tried to surprise Him? I know we technically can't pull one over on Him or anything, but if we tried, wouldn't that have some pretty cool results?

Like the Centurion believed that He could do anything and that Jesus has ultimate authority, I want to believe that He can do anything and that He has the ultimate authority. Nothing is too far-fetched or too crazy. I can ask believing that He can do it because He can do ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING.

I can ask for the salvation of every person I meet. I can ask for the opportunities to share about Him and I can have faith that He can and will give those to me.

The Beginning of the Beginning

I tell you the truth, a grain of wheat must fall to the ground and die to make many seeds. But if it never dies, it remains only a single seed. John 12:24

So I've decided that I need to see myself more as a grain of wheat. If I don't die to myself, my plans, my idea of happiness everyday, then I am missing out on all the opportunities Father has for me to multiply the Kingdom. I am a singular, self-centered possibility and nothing more than a possibility. It's a lot easier to have all the promise of a faithful and obedient follower and not actually do anything faithful or obedient. It's a lot easier to stay in your comfort zone, fear people, fear situations, close your eyes to the poor, and not believe the unbelievable. It takes effort to be courageous, and takes extreme faith to believe the unbelievable. Courage could be mean a life or death situation for you. Or courage could mean downgrading your lifestyle.

I've been reading in John for the past couple of weeks and it's so awesome/sad how I can read a passage that I think I've read a million times then realize after reading it that I've never really read it. I may have skimmed it, but I've never let it transform my mind. That's what Scripture should do right? It should transform our minds, change our lives and way of thinking, reaffirm our love, faith, excitement for The Gospel and Jesus Christ everyday. I know I need my love, faith and excitement renewed every morning, but do I let Him do that every morning? Nope.

Jay and I just moved into our very first apartment! Yes, we've lived in apartments over the past three months, but they've never been ours and they've never had all of our worldly possessions in them. Our place is jam-packed full of boxes and things that we haven't even seen in two years, but insist on keeping. I'm really excited about this fall and what it holds for us though. Getting to know each other better, getting to know our Father better, getting to know our Austin neighbors better.

Just seems so perfect.

My prayer for us at the beginning of our marriage until we literally die is that we will fall to the ground everyday and die, so that we can spread the seed and multiply.

Humility. Here it is.

Click on this for humility.

http://vimeo.com/9607938

Seriously, if that does not shake up your fingernail painted, cereal in the morning, ride the bus to school and go to the mall kind of life, I don't know what will.

Remember, we are called to live as Christ lived. I think sometimes we forget the scary part of Jesus' life and just remember that he was a good guy. The end. But that is just the tip of the iceberg.

what to say?

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

I don't know much, but I know that this Katie girl is right on. Please go take a look at her blog and get lost in it. She has things to say and she is chasing desperately after the heart of our Father.

I want my life to be so blatantly covered with the light of God that people are never left wondering if who I follow is the only true, and living God. I don't want my life to be seen as mediocre or average because I do not serve a mediocre or average God. My day should be full of new experiences and new people because He puts opportunities for all that in my path everyday. But do I take them? No. Do I know it when I'm letting an opportunity pass. A lot of times. That's heartbreaking.. heartbreaking and disgusting. Why do I take God's grace so lightly sometimes. It is the only reason I'm alive and saved by grace. It is the only thing that separates millions of people from Him.. and I know that.. and I'm not letting anyone in on that little secret between me and God? I shouldn't act like it's a secret. I shouldn't be whispering it. I should be living it and talking about it to anyone who needs to know.

Yes, I'm getting married in 2 months, and graduating in 2 months and leaving for Kazakhstan in 3 months, but those things do not make me. They are blessings for sure, and opportunities that I take for granted every single day, but they do not define me. I do not want to be found just waiting for those things and when they finally happen create a whole new list of things that I think define me. I should be going and doing and using those things for a springboard into what I should be doing 24/7. Finding ways to bring glory and fame to the name of Jesus Christ! Where God puts us is just the background.. there is a whole story happening in front of us that we can be a part of, but some of us (me) just blend in with the background, afraid to step out into the big picture. Not that many people are participating in the foreground. I know when I step out I feel really good about it, "do my duty", then step back again into the background feeling very satisfied with my tiny part and the good job IIIII did when it shouldn't have been for my glory and my good feeling at all.

Lately, wisdom has been a reoccurring theme in my life. How do I gain wisdom? Well, I talked about it a few blogs ago, but it only comes from God. I've been reading Proverbs lately and, if you don't know, it talks a lot about wisdom. It goes into a lot more detail, but if one part from Proverbs sums wisdom up it is 4:5-9 "Get wisdom and understanding. Don't forget or ignore my words. Hold on to wisdom, and it will take care of you. Love it, and it will keep you safe. Wisdom is the most important thing, so get wisdom. If it costs everything you have, get understanding. Treasure wisdom, and it will make you great; hold on to it, and it will bring you honor. It will be like flowers in your hair and like a beautiful crown on your head."

If wisdom comes from God, then we gain a little bit of that wisdom when Jesus Christ takes over our lives. It did say that "wisdom is the most important thing" and I must say having Jesus is pretty dang important. That's kind of cool. If you didn't know it before, we have a little bit of wisdom straight from our Father. We have His wisdom inside us. It makes me think. When I am not using His wisdom, I am really just using "my wisdom" which is not wisdom at all.. It's really just foolishness and Satan's tool against me. Hmm...

Save the Date!

Mark your calendar, people! Jay and I are making it official on May 8.