Humility. Here it is.

Click on this for humility.

http://vimeo.com/9607938

Seriously, if that does not shake up your fingernail painted, cereal in the morning, ride the bus to school and go to the mall kind of life, I don't know what will.

Remember, we are called to live as Christ lived. I think sometimes we forget the scary part of Jesus' life and just remember that he was a good guy. The end. But that is just the tip of the iceberg.

what to say?

http://kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com/

I don't know much, but I know that this Katie girl is right on. Please go take a look at her blog and get lost in it. She has things to say and she is chasing desperately after the heart of our Father.

I want my life to be so blatantly covered with the light of God that people are never left wondering if who I follow is the only true, and living God. I don't want my life to be seen as mediocre or average because I do not serve a mediocre or average God. My day should be full of new experiences and new people because He puts opportunities for all that in my path everyday. But do I take them? No. Do I know it when I'm letting an opportunity pass. A lot of times. That's heartbreaking.. heartbreaking and disgusting. Why do I take God's grace so lightly sometimes. It is the only reason I'm alive and saved by grace. It is the only thing that separates millions of people from Him.. and I know that.. and I'm not letting anyone in on that little secret between me and God? I shouldn't act like it's a secret. I shouldn't be whispering it. I should be living it and talking about it to anyone who needs to know.

Yes, I'm getting married in 2 months, and graduating in 2 months and leaving for Kazakhstan in 3 months, but those things do not make me. They are blessings for sure, and opportunities that I take for granted every single day, but they do not define me. I do not want to be found just waiting for those things and when they finally happen create a whole new list of things that I think define me. I should be going and doing and using those things for a springboard into what I should be doing 24/7. Finding ways to bring glory and fame to the name of Jesus Christ! Where God puts us is just the background.. there is a whole story happening in front of us that we can be a part of, but some of us (me) just blend in with the background, afraid to step out into the big picture. Not that many people are participating in the foreground. I know when I step out I feel really good about it, "do my duty", then step back again into the background feeling very satisfied with my tiny part and the good job IIIII did when it shouldn't have been for my glory and my good feeling at all.

Lately, wisdom has been a reoccurring theme in my life. How do I gain wisdom? Well, I talked about it a few blogs ago, but it only comes from God. I've been reading Proverbs lately and, if you don't know, it talks a lot about wisdom. It goes into a lot more detail, but if one part from Proverbs sums wisdom up it is 4:5-9 "Get wisdom and understanding. Don't forget or ignore my words. Hold on to wisdom, and it will take care of you. Love it, and it will keep you safe. Wisdom is the most important thing, so get wisdom. If it costs everything you have, get understanding. Treasure wisdom, and it will make you great; hold on to it, and it will bring you honor. It will be like flowers in your hair and like a beautiful crown on your head."

If wisdom comes from God, then we gain a little bit of that wisdom when Jesus Christ takes over our lives. It did say that "wisdom is the most important thing" and I must say having Jesus is pretty dang important. That's kind of cool. If you didn't know it before, we have a little bit of wisdom straight from our Father. We have His wisdom inside us. It makes me think. When I am not using His wisdom, I am really just using "my wisdom" which is not wisdom at all.. It's really just foolishness and Satan's tool against me. Hmm...

Save the Date!

Mark your calendar, people! Jay and I are making it official on May 8.

What I Do In Music Class

I think this is hilarious. I'm on the right in a sweater shirt and light blue jean shorts. Oh yeah, and I'm the only 4th grader over 5 feet. You may have confused me with the teacher.

Life is funny. People are funny. In 4th grade I had no idea about the road which lay before me. I had no idea that there was more to life outside of my best friend, Beverly Gomez (to the left) and my parents' rules. I knew the basics: I'm alive, God gave me life, He had a son named Jesus that died for me, I was supposed to be good because He was so good, but if anything were to skew outside of that very small understanding of life, love and God, I was so confused. I can't say that it's much better now. The box that I put my understanding of things in may be a little bigger, but I am still shocked by some things, I hate some things, I am confused by some things, and I am scared to death of some things. There are still some things that are WAY outside of my understanding and comfort.

But where can wisdom be found? Where does understanding dwell? Man does not comprehend its worth; it cannot be found in the land of the living. The deep says, 'It is not in me'; the sea says, 'It is not with me.'

It cannot be bought with the finest gold, nor can its price be weighed in silver. It cannot be bought with the gold of Ophir, with precious onyx or sapphires. Neither gold nor crystal can compare with it, nor can it be had for jewels of gold. Coral and jasper are not worthy of mention; the price of wisdom is beyond rubies. The topaz of Cush cannot compare with it; it cannot be bought with pure gold.

Where then does wisdom come from? Where does understanding dwell?

It is hidden from the eyes of every living thing, concealed even from the birds of the air. Destruction ^{c]" style=" line-height: 0.5em; ">[c]} and Death say, 'Only a rumor of it has reached our ears.'

God understands the way to it and he alone knows where it dwells, for he views the ends of the earth and sees everything under the heavens.

When he established the force of the wind and measured out the waters, when he made a decree for the rain and a path for the thunderstorm, then he looked at wisdom and appraised it; he confirmed it and tested it.

And he said to man,
'The fear of the Lord—that is wisdom,
and to shun evil is understanding.' "

Job 28:12-28

And so, I blog, praising, ranting, raving, questioning, and suffering as I go. By myself, I cannot understand a thing. I have no wisdom except for my self- proclaimed wisdom. I have no understanding except for my self-proclaimed understanding. Wisdom and understanding that I gain from my life, my experiences? My life and experiences are tainted by sin and despair, and even if I claim to have learned from those experiences, I repeat them over and over again. That is not wisdom, that is absolute foolishness! So what I can gain from Job 28 is that the only person capable of true wisdom is God the Father and Jesus Christ through him. If I'm seeking and begging for His wisdom, it is only then I will truly understand anything He is doing around me.

So, my prayer today, is for wisdom and understanding. None of that self-proclaimed junk I think is wisdom or understanding, but wisdom that opens my eyes and ears to the amazing things Father is doing and gives me the ability to pay attention to the opportunities is giving me to bring fame to his name.

I want to shun evil and FEAR THE LORD.

Rant.

I'm disgusted.
I'm disgusted by the sin of man basically.

How can we feel like we have the right to justify our sin. To make it acceptable for ourselves and not for others? How can we sin and return to it each time without a thought to repent. When we talk about sin it goes like this:

"Well, some people just.."
"If you just can't control yourself.."
"If it's right for you.."
"I can't say what is right for someone else.."

What are we saying? That sin can be half-sin or small sin or sometimes a sin??
No.

I am not exempt from my own judgement right now. I do all these things. I justify everything I do, only to fall to my knees later because I'm an idiot and try to run my life the way I see fit. I sin from my lack of faith, strength and love that can only come from the Father.

I'm just sick of us. I'm sick of sin. I'm sick of our excuses.

Puke.